Pause!

I'm going to pause my carb cycling.

I'm having a hard time tracking my carbs and really eating that much carbs is a chore for me.  I'm kinda discouraged by it since it should be pretty simple, but its pretty hard for me, but there isn't a point dwelling on that. I'll just put it off till after the half.

I know I gained weight because of the two weeks I was on it, and I know my running will use up the fuel, but right now I'm frustrated cuz I have to think about what I eat and marathon training so I'm just going to pause that one aspect of life right now.

I also know I'm loosing muscle mass, which is also frustrating. I knew my P90x was going to suffer while training for the marathon, but I worked hard for what little muscles I have so I'm sad about that, but I'm going to kick that up a notch.

So right now, I'm just going back to really low carbs and listening to what my body needs after its run. If I need a little more carbs, I shouldn't/won't be afraid to eat some good for me carbs.

Also, being a girl runner sucks. I think guys have it better, here is a list why:

• Guys don't have boobs. They don't need to spend at least $20 for a really good bra. I double up my bras and it gets really hot and uncomfortable.
• Guys don't have periods. You don't have to be bloated, crampy, and irritated.
• Guys have bodies that were built to run. Girls have child bearing bodies.

Those are just some reasons that randomly came up in my head. I hate having to deal with the first two. The last one, that isn't really an issue cuz our bodies are smart and adjust. But imagine running in 90 degree heat, wearing two sports bras and on your period. That is probably the worst case scenario for a girl.

I'm also thinking up more races for the future. I'm going to be traveling a lot till the end of the year and I'm excited for that, but it makes it difficult to see which races I can do. I really want to do another 5k soon, even a 10k, but there isn't much events in my area.

Debating about doing the inaugural Hollywood Half but its really expensive for a half, and I'll have to travel down there, which means it will probably cost me 3x the registration over all to just do the run. I don't mind, since I can see my fam there, but at the same time, why can't NorCal just be more runner and marathon friendly? It will save me some serious cash!

But planning trips AROUND marathons are also fun! I want to do the Niagara Marathon which is the only marathon that spans two countries! You need a PASSPORT to run the race! How exciting is that? I also want to do Peachtree next year! And just so many random events. I'm so excited. I wish someone would take up the same interest as me and would find all this worthwhile cuz traveling is always fun with someone! But I know my friend wants to check out random places anyway, she should be down to travel (not necessarily run) with me!

Pasadena

I figured I should take some time to talk about my first ever 5k.

Like I've mentioned several times in this blog, I started running primarily to exercise to lose weight.  As I've also mentioned, running just became addicting.  However, I never really took it seriously. I was never interested in running a race, joining a club, sharpening my skills, or any of that until a friend got me into it.

Said friend was running the Pasadena, and so in the spirit of taking my running to the next level, I decided to do the 5k.

A 5k is 3.1 miles, my route for running was roughly 3 miles, so really I didn't really train for the 5k. I was still nervous and apprehensive about not finishing. Not sure why, but I was. I went into the whole thing looking down and really just scared and timid about it. I know I can do my runs up here, but can I do it in Pasadena?

As the day approached, I just wanted to finish the 5k, and under 45 minutes please. I know that isn't the best time in the world, but by no means am I an Olympian.  If I want to , I can usually push myself 4 miles in an hour, so really, under 45 minutes is a good time for me.

So yeah, that's how I approached the race.  I wanted to finish under 45 minutes, and I was still scared.

The day before, we went to go pick up the packets which included the bib and shirt.  Let me just say, free stuff is #winning. Even from the expo, I was nervous. I seriously felt like I didn't "belong" which is a stupid thing to feel, but hey, I'm just being honest.  To me, races were for people who were fit, who are fast, who are in shape. Not for people, for a lack of better words, like me.  Being in that environment where people were in shape was both intimidating and inspiring, however I mostly felt intimidated.  But anyway, too late to back out now.  I had my number, 7677, & my red shirt [red shirts die! haha] and my Soy Joy cinch bag filled with Soy Joys & yucky coconut water.

The day of the race, May 15, was filled with anxiety and rain.  I was anxious to start and finish the run and the skies were pouring down the rain.

I was there early for my friend's 6:30 gun time for his half.  Which gave me plenty of time to kill till my 7:30 gun time for my 5k.

During that hour, I seriously didn't know what to do. I peed. Washed my hands, walked around the expo a bit. Looked for shelter from the pouring rain. I ran laps like I knew what I was doing and stretched like my life depended on it. Stretching is something I hardly spend 5, if any, minutes on when I do my daily runs. Bad, I know.

I thought time was taking forever to pass by, but when they announced for all the 10 & 5k runners to line up at the chute... I was nervous.  I was next to an older lady tho and we chatted it up, I love talking to strangers I know I'm probably never going to see again, and she was really encouraging about it. She's been running the Pasadena since it started years ago. Well, she said she walks it. So she was really nice about it. She said its more of the spirit of the community for her as opposed to something that she runs for time. Which totally makes sense.

I'm not exactly sure where I lined up at, I could clearly see the front, but not the back, but since the gun time and my chip time were only seconds away, I would say I was pretty close to the front. I don't know if I pulled a marathon no-no by lining up in the front and not being one of the fastest, but I actually ran for a while, past mile marker 1, before I had to slow my pace and I stayed away from the obvious runners that were behind me.

Anyway, it was pouring, my nose was runny, I was just doing the whole one foot in front of the other thing.  And eventually, I found a group of people I could pace with. I was pacing with this Mom who had a stroller and lady who was by herself. But their pace was comfortable, it was something I managed to keep up with.

I was just beginning to be comfortable in running and was just getting settled, learning when I can push it and learning when I need to chill it, then bam! I made the gigantor mistake of pushing it before that last turn because right when I saw that "Finish" banner, I think it was a mental signal that at last, I am "allowed" to stop, and even tho I was actually okay and not in pain, I got a freakin' side stitch! I didn't want to walk across the finish, so I pushed through that side stitch and ran across the finish. It wasn't the most beautiful or fastest thing but I seriously thought I was about to crumble from that side stitch. I thought I was good, and I know I was good, it was just that crazy mental-jedi-mind-trick. You know, even if you know you're good, but when you know you don't have to "push through" you'll slow down or something.

Crossing the finish line was something I thought would be more epic, to be honest. I thought I was going to cry, I thought I was going to puke, I thought I was going to be fist pumping my way through. Instead, in my head, I was like "That's it?"  Haha. not that I wanted to run a full, but I was just getting settled! That's how I felt. I was thankful it was over but in a way I felt that I went through that side stitch, which promptly disappeared as quickly as it came, for nothing.  But hey, I got my finishers medal!

Anyway, final time, 40:22!

Under 45 minutes!

That is my official stats from the race. 

Like I said, its not the best compared to a whole bunch of other people out there, but its my best and at least now I know if I improve on it. To be honest, that 22 seconds is pissing me off. It pissed me off when I saw it, and its pissing me off right now looking at it.  If I pushed myself a little bit harder, I could have been in the "30" range.  I hate lying somewhere in between the border because I feel like if I just gave a little bit more effort... like damn. But yeah. That stupid 22!!!

So that was Pasadena. I want to go back and do it again next year! Maybe I can do the full! It would be epic to go from the 5k from one year, and then the full the following! But I'll see on that. Thanks to those who supported me, there wasn't a lot of them. More doubters than anything, but thanks for those that did. Thanks for the awesome friends that hosted and entertained cat while I was there. It was fun.

For now, I just want to shave 10 minutes off my time.  So I can be at a 10 minute per mile pace, or under 30 minutes for the 5k.

Granted, I know I have a long way to go to get there. Mentally, I don't think I can reach that goal till I weigh as much as a pretzel, if you can't tell my insecurity is my looks [ffffuuuu chubby cheeks and everything else!] but its a mental game just as much as it is a physical game.

I know where I want to be, and I'm taking steps to get there =]

Right now I have some options for races, and I want to do the Las Vegas Rock & Roll, but its probably goign to cost an arm and a leg! R&R events are expensive!

This Sunday, I'm debating between a 5k or 10k.

Then on the 23, there is another run, either a 5k or 10k again.

Then the half marathon on September.

These are really lofty goals and timelines for me. I'm not promising anything. I'm scared to commit to the half on September. Right NOW I'm not confident at all about finishing a 10k, let alone a half, but well see. I have some time to decide.