Just Keep Going

I mentioned that I plateaued some entries back.

I've been working out, P90x, for a week now with jack3d & it helps a lot.

I'm just going to cycle it properly because I don't want to be immune to it.

I haven't been running as much as before (I only did two 3-mile runs last week) because I sometimes I just don't have time after working out.

I put together a calendar that will hopefully help me in both areas, not slacking in strength training and most definitely improve on my running.

Here is a glimpse of it.

Sunday- Rest
Monday- Chest & Back, Ab Ripper
Tuesday- Tempo Run
Wednesday- Shoulders & Arms, Ab Ripper
Thursday- Normal Runs (I'm going to alternate every week with hill runs)
Friday- Legs & Back, Ab Ripper
Saturday- Long Runs

Today was actually my rest because I did Chest & Back yesterday.  And to be blunt, my chest really hurts. Its not my boobs, but the muscles behind my boobs. It hurts. I just googled it, that would be pecs right?

Anyway, yeah. So tomorrow, I'm looking forward to tempo running. To remind myself, tempo run is "comfortably hard." It shouldn't be too hard where I feel like dying, but not so easy that I can hold a conversation. Something I can handle but would gladly stop if I could. That is my best understanding of tempo run.

To be honest, I haven't really focused on improving on running. I really like running and part of me is afraid that if I make it so serious, that I'm going to not like running. But a talk last night with a friend is changing that thinking. Also after running the Pasadena, I now officialy have a PR for a 5k, and I want to see that change.

One thing I love about the whole "journey" that this working out and running thing is taking me is challenging myself.  In a way, I feel like I have to be my own cheerleader on this and its fun to see what I can do. However, I also wuss out really easy. As someone put it, "you set the bar, and you just take it off" and I know I do that. I do it to protect my self, my ego, I guess. Its the belief that if you have no expectations, you won't be disappointed. Its something that I recently realized does more harm than good.

So I'll see how actually "training" for a run will be.  As opposed to just go out there and run. Yeah, I do want to see my time improve and my mentality is that when I cut more fat, I'll just be fast, and while there is truth in that, I'm sure that training where I'm at now will not harm me. It will probably be like running with ankle weights, which I used to do (big mistake), but its all over weight. When I drop, I'll be fast cuz I was already training now. Not waiting till later to correct my form, practice my foot work, etc.

At least I'm hoping it will be.

For some up-beat progress, I recently wore clothes I explicity bought for a wedding exactly a month ago. And a lot of them are already too big or fitting better. I wrote a post on body type in the beginning of this blog and I mentioned that I'm a mesomorph. I just took the "test" right now and it said I'm between a meso & an endo.  But one thing I noticed is that when I'm eating right (which includes actually eating) and clean food and working out consistently, I gain muscle really quick. So I know I'm gaining muscle. I'm just disappointed that the chubz is not falling off as fast as I want, especially from my face. But regardless, I'm goign to just keep going.

Music Monday

Current Focus

• Staying hydrated
• Taking daily vitamins
• Hitting daily protein requirements

I have a hard time remembering to do certain things unless I drill them in my head. It doesn't take very long but I can't do too many things at once, just cuz I need to focus like that.

I limited it to 3 things that I need to focus on currently. I know there are more, but 3 is a manageable number. So if ever I feel overwhelmed, I'll just remember these three things and when they become habits, I'll move on to the next three things.

Staying hydrated- I used to be really good at drinking water because if I don't drink enough water, I get migraines.  Then I slowly tapered of, and I'm guessing my body got used to it.  I want to go back to migraine reminders! Haha. But yeah, getting that 1.5 liter of water a day is necessary. Cleans out my system.

Taking daily vitamins- I got my daily vitamins from GNC, need to be good and consistent about this. I have my One a Day as well, but it becomes like One when I remember. Since I can be inconsistent about eating, I need my vitamins.

Hitting daily protein requirements- I'm so bad with this because I'm trying to hit 1200-1500 calories. I'm getting like 80-100 grams of protein and its supposed to be 1 gram of protein per 1 pound you weigh. I don't weight 80-100 pounds. Trying to find protein rich foods without adding too much calories to my daily intake. I should be hitting at least 150 grams. I'm doing better with this, its just being smart about what I eat and stuff, but protein is necessary since I'm doing P90x which is for muscle and I need to feed these crazy muscles.

So yeah, these are my current focus, maybe in a month or two, or three, I'll have new ones.

Too Much

Wednesday, I worked on Legs & Back for P90x, Thursday when I woke up I decided to go for a run.

The rest of the day yesterday, my legs were shot, and up to know my legs and my back (back muscles, not like my spine or anything) is so sore.

Over did it?

Probably.

At least now I'm sure that jack3d works.

Before, pre jack3d, legs were horrible for me. When I did it Wednesday, I was okay after, even hours after, but when I woke up the followig morning, I was feeling it.

I have to go into work and I'm not sure how this is going to work since I'm on my feet all day. Its all good tho, its only a four hour shift. When I get back, its time for Chest & Back, and I'm going to half my dosage of jack3d, but I'm scared I won't feel a thing.

I didn't take jack3d yesterday, trying to balance it out.

But I'm excited to work out.

For working out or running. Its awesome.

Back To Square One

I'm discouraged. So discouraged that my insecurities went on overdrive and I pretty much don't want to do anything but workout and run. I don't even want to eat.  I feel like those, running & weight training, are the only things I can control. I just want to do those and eff the rest.

A little over 3 months and 25 pounds later, I have officially hit a plateau, and its probably going to be one of many.

I started from beginning of February, and its now May 24.

In retrospect, 25 off is a good thing in that time period. Considering I was out for 6 weeks of that time.

Right now, however, all I can focus about is this plateau that I'm currently stuck in.

Granted, I know I can be stricter about a few things, like cutting out juice even if its only once a week, or letting go of that brown rice and just going back to my Orowheat thin bread things as my only source of carbs. Pushing it just a little bit more while I run or strength train; but I know I've hit a plateau.

To me, its too damn early to hit a plateau. Like honestly, I'm no where near where I want to be weight wise, or even muscle wise. And lately I've been discouraged by this plateau. I know below I said I was dropping too fast, and there were weeks I would drop between 3-5 & I've been told that 3-5 is too much for a week, so now I'm trying to balance eating right and working out, so I drop but not too fast, but lately, I've been staying the same. Stupid plateau.

Just had a good talk with a friend in regards to this and good to know, this stuff just happens. Well I knew this stuff happens, but to know it happens to everyone and it happens when it wants makes me feel a little better.

So right now, like NOW, I'm just going to cut my losses and start over.

Back to square one.

The only difference from square one in February and square one May is that I'm 25 pounds down, and a little bit smarter about these things. Remember, I don't claim to be an expert on this (read my side bar disclaimer!). A disadvantage is that my body is also a little bit smarter and got used to how I did things before and now I kinda have to find different ways to switch it up, so really its back to square one.

I have a feeling that throughtout this whole journey, till I get where I want to be so its just maintaining, (if you want to know, its runner's lean, but I want to keep my boobs, so if those start disappearing, I'm probably going to stop working out too much) I might be going back to a whole bunch of "square one."

Only it won't ever be in the same spot as the first square one in February. It will always be a new starting point somewhere closer to my goal.

I'm still bummed. I'm still kinda sad.

But theres absolutely nothing that being sad can do about it.

Right now, I'm alive, I'm loved, I'm breathing, PSN is back up... I can push through the sadness and the plateau.

Also I have jack3d and multi-vitamins coming to my doorstep anytime soon. Jack3d tomorrow (today), vitamins, I'm not sure when. Other plan of action is probably to tighten up what I eat. Even tho I hardly eat now. Also going to cut back on cardio and focus on P90x. Like actually listen to the dude (haha!) and pay more attention to form. Cardio is good but I need to build muscles so they can burn the fat for me. If those doesn't work alongside jack3d & my multi-vitamins, I'll give it 2-3 months, then I'll go down that slippery slope of thermogenic supplements.

Hopefully those things will help me push through the plateau, and the rest of I'm sure many more to come.

Just gimme a year, gimme a year, and after that hopefully its all maintainance. Hopefully.



PS. I shall talk about the Pasadena marathon soon. Like really soon. I really loved it and am currently looking for a 10, because I already found a half =]

Blah

I started running to drop some weight, and dropping weight has just become a "perk" of running as opposed to the purpose. But as of late, I've been insecure and focusing on the dropping part.

I would really rather eat a Balance Bar a day than count calories.

I hate thinking and I'm having a hard time tracking calories so I don't drop too fast, which is happening, and so that I don't gain.

I never thought that I would be worried about dropping too fast.

Like seriously... its annoying me.

At leasts its dropping but I don't want flappy skin.

EWE!

I'll just tough it out.

Anxious

I'm really anxious about the run right now. Its 3 miles, 5k, which is what I normally do for my normal runs, so I'm totally not sure why I'm anxious because I know I can do it.

I'm just really anxious. I would be more comfortable giving a speech in front of 500 people compared to the anxiety I'm experiencing right now.

I figured it might help to make a list of some sorts to be real with myself.

I'm coming from 6 weeks of rest. I'll give myself that. I wasn't allowed to run or strength train (I did a bit of strength training tho) in those six weeks because I did some damage to my lower nerve.  That totally threw a lot of things off, which really sucked for me because frankly, I was on a roll!

I'm not yet where I want to be physically. I guess I should just pat myself in the back for the fact that I'm going to run in the Pasadena. Although it is the distance of my normal run and might be easier because the course is pretty flat, I should be like "Yay me!" that I actually am doing this even if I'm not where I want to be at physically.

I'm sick. Stomach flu, flu, allergies... it came a raining down on me the past week.  I haven't eaten solidly for the past four days. I've only eaten dinner since last night because I hate throwing up and I've been throwing up everything I eat. It took me two days to finish an 8 oz protein shake.

I don't want to seem like I'm making excuses for my impending failure. I don't think and I don't intend to fail, I'm just trying to cut myself some slack.

Numbers

I gained a bit of weight in TX. Sigh.

Its okay tho cuz this sickness had gotten rid of most of it.

I started running cuz I needed cardio in my life. I also enjoyed the "high" that came from running, and also working out.

I dropped a lot of weight when I started running and gosh darn that was a plus.

I have a "few" more to go, but I'm looking forward to be where I want to be.

Not that it will solve my insecurity issues, but at least I can prove to myself that yeah, you can do it Cat and just to push my body.

With that said, I hate numbers, but I'm closer than I was the beginning of the year and there is a lot to be said about that.

One Day

Today, I'll run & face the distance ahead of me so that

One day, I'll run & not be intimidated by the distance ahead of me.

Pasadena FUNday

Pasadena is this coming Sunday.

I can get pretty competitive in general. It has something to do with the fact that I'm insecure about so many things. I know stupid reasoning.

I've been learning to just not compete and just do it for me.

Its going to be Pasadena FUNday. I'm wearing my FUNderwear and having as much FUN as I can.

The way I'm looking at it is this: I'm not out to prove anything to anyone, just to myself that I can in fact finish a 5k, and in the future, a 10k. After that, a half then a full.

It is essentially for me, to me, by me.

I know that is a lot of "me" action going on there, but its about time we, or at least I, start doing things for myself.

Cat Daddy has a really good tempo to run to.

12 More Days

Twelve more days till the Pasadena Marathon. I'm kinda scared

I just finished my run today. I did 3.15 miles, which is a 5k.

Okay wait, let me re-word that, I walked 3.15 miles today.

I randomly ran when crossing streets, running away from creepers, but I wanted to walk it to see if I can finish on or under 45 minutes just by walking.

SUCCESS.

I was at 46 minutes, but I had to wait for stop lights and stuff, and I swear, there was two particular lights that took FOREVER, like 2 minutes. I felt stupid stretching there, sucks. I'll probably treadmill 2 miles tonight just to build some endurance or whatever, I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm still scared about the 5k, but at least I know I can walk it and finish under the 15 minute mile pace.

I'm not tired, but my throat is hurting. I know part of it is that everyone seemed to be mowing their lawn today and I didn't take my allergy pills, and part of it is cuz I'm sick, and part of it is cuz I'm not completely in shape. But aside from that I'm good. My feet don't hurt which is a good thing. I also know I could have pushed myself to actually jog some.

Since I was out six weeks just a week ago, and I came back from a weekend of non-stop nosh, I'll cut myself some slack in running. Eating is going back to strict mode and I'm going to up strength training.

So tonight, I'll probably try to get a run in the treadmill. I'm not sure if all of this is kosher a little under 2 weeks till Pasadena, but whatever.

I really have nothing to lose because if I know I can walk at the given 15 minute mile pace and finish, I can only improve from walking right? If I end up doing worst, its okay, cuz I'm still going to finish. Right now, I just want to finish. I can't be too lofty about goals and say I'll run this 5k like an Olympian.

Progress is still progress, and in running you don't go from six weeks off to Olympian in a week.

At this point, I'm really just in "make sure you finish this under 45 minutes mode." I'm not going to try and be all ambitous (if you know me, I tend to get all "bishy," bish, is what I use to say ambitous) because frankly, I'm not an Olympian and 6 weeks was way too long to be out and 20 days too short to be ambitous.

::shrugs::